Are your relationship so healthy

Every relationship is different, but there are a few characteristics that make healthy relationships possible.

Mutual respect

  • You can say “no” without feeling guilty about it.
  • Your partner does not try to change or control you when you disagree.
  • You and your partner acknowledge how great the other person is.
  • Mistakes are accepted and learned from.
  • Boundaries are respected and your partner listens to you.

Support

  • You and your partner are there for each other to celebrate when things are going well and to help when things are not going well.

Trust/honesty

  • You trust each other. You feel trust and you have reason to trust. You each work hard to be trustworthy for the other.
  • You feel safe and comfortable with each other.
  • There is a willingness to take risks and be vulnerable.
  • You and your partner are honest with each other.

Good communication

  • Communication is open and spontaneous. You listen to each other and feel that you are heard. You make decisions together.
  • You can express your feelings without fear of your partner’s reactions.
  • Feelings and needs are expressed, appreciated, and respected by both.
  • Conflict is faced directly and resolved with win-win outcomes.
  • Rules and boundaries are clear and defined, yet allow for flexibility if you desire change. Both of you feel free to express your needs.

Separate identities

  • You can be together as a couple without losing your sense of self. Each person feels self-confident and secure in his/her own worth.
  • Personal growth, change, and exploration are encouraged for each and by each partner.
  • Each person can enjoy being alone and requests for privacy are respected.

Fairness/equality

  • Partners are fair when they work things out.
  • Tolerance — forgiveness of self and others — is present.
  • You each take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness. One doesn’t blame the other for feelings or things that happen.
  • You are able to let go of the need to “be right.”
  • There is a balance of giving and receiving in your relationship. Equality is both affirmed and celebrated.