Monthly Archives: January 2016

How to make your relationship more romantic

unduhan (7)Here the tips that you can following. It can be more help you more for you healthy relationship :

Talking openly

Communication is a key piece of healthy relationships. Healthy couples make time to check in with one another on a regular basis. It’s important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household, however. Try to spend a few minutes each day discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term.

That doesn’t mean you should avoid bringing up difficult subjects. Keeping concerns or problems to yourself can breed resentment. When discussing tough topics, though, it pays to be kind. Researchers have found that communication style is more important than commitment levels, personality traits or stressful life events in predicting whether happily married couples will go on to divorce. In particular, negative communication patterns such as anger and contempt are linked to an increased likelihood of splitting up.2

Disagreements are part of any partnership, but some fighting styles are particularly damaging. Couples that use destructive behavior during arguments — such as yelling, resorting to personal criticisms or withdrawing from the discussion — are more likely to break up than are couples that fight constructively. Examples of constructive strategies for resolving disagreements include attempting to find out exactly what your partner is feeling, listening to his or her point of view and trying to make him or her laugh.3

Keeping it interesting

Between kids, careers and outside commitments, it can be difficult to stay connected to your partner. Yet there are good reasons to make the effort. In one study, for example, researchers found couples that reported boredom during their seventh year of marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationships nine years later.4

To keep things interesting, some couples plan regular date nights. Even dates can get old, though, if you’re always renting a movie or going to the same restaurant. Experts recommend breaking out of the routine and trying new things — whether that’s going dancing, taking a class together or packing an afternoon picnic.

Intimacy is also a critical component of romantic relationships. Some busy couples find it helpful to schedule sex by putting it on the calendar. It may not be spontaneous to have it written in red ink, but setting aside time for an intimate encounter helps ensure that your physical and emotional needs are met.

When should couples seek help?

Every relationship has ups and downs, but some factors are more likely than others to create bumps in a relationship. Finances and parenting decisions often create recurring conflicts, for example. One sign of a problem is having repeated versions of the same fight over and over. In such cases, psychologists can help couples improve communication and find healthy ways to move beyond the conflict.

You don’t have to wait until a relationship shows signs of trouble before working to strengthen your union. Marital education programs that teach skills such as good communication, effective listening and dealing with conflict have been shown to reduce the risk of divorce.

If you’d like professional help improving or strengthening your relationship, use the APA’s Psychologist Locator to find a psychologist in your area.

How to know when you should leave a relationship

Relationship is beautiful union of two human beings for the same cause. Begins when they find they are soul mates and customarily breakup. It is quite funny that the revolution is derived at many a time, within a very short span of time.

At this instance two possible questions arise; were they mistakenly conceived the partner as a soul mate? Or failed to cop up with the demands of relationship? Whatever it be, it is always advisable to leave a relationship when somebody feels it so horrible to continue with. The most suggested reason for dropping the attractions in a short time is getting into relationships without proper analysis of the partner. Many couple decides to live in relationships just considering the peripheral attraction and attachment; by the time they realize the actuality of life, they will be in a hooked up situation. Better to leave a relationship if it gives only issues and dissatisfaction. Let us see few of the tips to decide the right time to leave an unpromising relationship.

When you feel abused or unconcerned

If you constantly feel that you do not receive the due respect and concern, instead get abused; then it is advised to leave the relationship and stay away from the person. The prime goal of entering into relationship is to be more jovial and satisfied. Each of the partners should care for the other and try to maximize the comforts each other in a relationship. Emotional or physical abuses are to be resisted in a relationship and one has to leave immediately if the partner goes on engaging in abusive behavior pattern. Modern relationships do not bind any person to suffer lifelong with a person incompatible.

When the love meter dips down

Romance is the sum of all the struggles and tensions undergone in relationships. People get into relationships to enjoy the romantic presence of the partner and accomplish the human tendency of loving and being loved. If one of the partners doesn’t understand the importance of affection in relationship, it cannot go further in effective manner. You need not compromise your life for a partner who is less affectionate or rude to you. Lack of romance is the obvious sign of lack of interest. When the love meter dips down perpetually, then one has to understand it as the right time to go away from the partner.

When the trust is broken

Trust is a very delicate and must to have string that binds the partners in a relationship together. As soon as you realize broken trust in a relationship, without hesitation, leave the relationship. Mutual trust is essential in every relationship and both the partners need to adhere to the commitment. Trust is the way of expressing the love, concern and importance one feels for the other person. If any one of the partners doesn’t care for maintaining the trust in relationship, then it is always better to hold back from the relationship.

If you feel depressed or unhappy all the time

When the relationship infuses into a sad feeling always, then the relationship is not beneficial for you. Thirst for happiness is said to be the driving force behind every action in human life; so is relationships. When the relationship offers you depression, rather joviality and peaceful life, then going ahead with the relationship is not meaningful; leave it aside as soon as possible. Analyze if the said depression is the result of your own mentality or caused by the instances in the relationship. If it is ignited by the relationship issues, then the relationship is, of course, destructive for you and deprive of it at the very first instance.

Independent in your relationship is okay

It might seem like making a commitment has to mean letting go of some of your independence, but couples who retain a sense of personal independence may be quicker at resolving arguments and better able to invest in the relationship .

There’s something fun about merging your life with your significant other, particularly in the early stages, but it’s important to maintain the qualities that make you who you are as an individual – after all, that’s what your partner fell in love with in the first place.

Having an independent streak doesn’t mean you’re afraid of commitment – people with a strong sense of personal identity can actually be better communicators. They are less defensive, more honest, and more flexible. They find it easier to be open and to put things into perspective .

A strong sense of individuality, then, can mean you have stronger relationships. When you and your partner support and nurture each other’s need for independence, you can start to find a balance that means you’re also happier and more confident in the relationship .

If you’d like to reclaim a bit of independence as a way of strengthening your relationship, you might want to try the following.

1. Spend some time alone

Alone time gives you a chance to recharge and refresh. We all need a bit of solitude and it’s easy to forget this when we get into relationships. Spend some time reading, or catching up on emails, or just watching something your partner might not be into.

It’s also important to keep in touch with your friends, and do some of the things you did when you were single. If you’ve got a group of friends you used to hang out with, give them a call and arrange something. An evening away from your partner will broaden your experiences and give you more to talk about when you next see each other.

2. Keep your online lives separate

Social media plays a big part in how we present ourselves to the world, and how we interact with our friends and families. Being in a relationship can mean our online lives also intermingle with our real lives.

For some couples, declaring your love online can make you feel closer and more connected. For others, however, it can feel like a bit of a threat to privacy and independence, knowing that a partner can check up on what we’re up to and who we’re talking to .

Don’t go snooping, or trying to work out who they’ve been chatting to – maybe even disconnect your profiles, or mute your partner’s feed. Give each other some online space as well as real space.

3. Plan your own future

Life is full of big decisions. Your decisions around what to do with your life – like where to study, and where to work – may be influenced by a number of factors, including what you can afford. If you are in a long-term relationship, you may need consider whether or not to factor your partner into the decisions [3].

Coordinating our life plans with those of our partner can mean having to be flexible and make a few compromises, so think carefully about what’s most important to you and make sure your decisions suit you as an individual as well as you as couple.

These days, many people are choosing to wait until a bit later in life before settling into long-term relationships . This can provide an opportunity to figure out what you want as an individual before making decisions about what you want from your romantic relationship.

4. Try living apart together

One – possibly extreme – solution to the issue of combining a committed relationship with personal independence is the increasingly popular practice of living apart together. Couples are described as living apart together when they are in a monogamous relationship but have chosen to maintain separate homes

For many younger adults, living apart together might be a necessity, based on working or studying arrangements, or finances , but it could also be an attractive option for couples who want to be together while enjoying their own independence.